The road not taken

This post is about Pat Tillman and the choices he made when he joined the military after 9/11. This man was an NFL player who decided to join the Army after 9/11 to help protect this country. He was killed in combat in 2004 by his fellow Rangers in a barrage of friendly fire while trying to take cover during a firefight. He had a great life as a player in the NFL. Plenty of money, a loving and beautiful wife, but he decided to do something more with his life. Personally, I think that if I were in his shoes I would probably make the same choice. However, most people I know wouldn't say that. They would probably say that they would stay where they feel safe and secure. I think we can all learn that we're able to do something more with our lives, to do something better. Yes, I feel that my path is different than what most people would choose at my age. I'm choosing to become a mother at the age of eighteen. I think that most people wouldn't make that choice at my age, or even want to as a matter of fact. They might choose abortion or adoption, but no, I'm choosing to keep my daughter and raise her as my own. I don't believe in abortion and I would hate myself for giving her up. I think we can learn from my life to make the right choices, to make smarter choices and to make sure you can live with the outcome of them.

Taming of the Shrew

After reading Nancy Gibbs' essay "The War Within" in Time Magazine, I'm shocked that the United States military is taking so little action to protect their female soldiers. In this article, I read that most female soldiers have stopped drinking water after seven in the evening to avoid going out at night for fear of being assaulted in some way. The sense of betrayal runs deep in victims who joined the military to be part of a team pursuing a larger cause; experts compare the trauma to incest and the particular damage done when when assault is inflicted by a member of the military "family". Most victims choose not to report their assaults because they fear that they will be made fun of, demoted, or even discharged. Filing an assault charge can be a career killer. Not for the assailant but for the victim. Also, a civilian who knows her assailant has a much better chance of avoiding him than does a soldier at a remote base. The civilian has the opportunity to live somewhere else while the soldier is stuck in that same place. Only 8% of cases ends in prosecution.

Hook

"I think that when it comes right down to it, the choices I've made in life weren't so bad after all," these words keep running through my mind as I drive along these roads, watching the scenery fly by the windows of the car. My daughter playing in the backseat, laughing as her father tickles her toes and makes funny faces at her over the back of his seat. I smile to myself as I watch her in the mirror for a few seconds, her eyes a perfect reflection of mine, her beautiful blond hair shining in the light. As I bring my eyes back to the road, I begin to pick familiar landscapes out of the overgrown surroundings. My eyes land on a spot that I used to go to with friends, the little trail nearly hidden in the underbrush. I turn to the man at my side and ask with a hopeful smile if we could take a walk down it one last time with our daughter as I pull off to the edge of the road. With a nod, he unbuckles our life and picks her up, tickling her for a moment before placing her on his shoulders with a grin, his hands gripping her ankles gently. I start leading them down the little path to the cliff he and I went to as our first date, holding the branches out of their way. My little Carleigh laughs and claps her hands over his head as the view comes into sight. Her eyes widening with each step as we move to the stone benches that sit about ten feet from the edge. "Carleigh, sweetie, I don't want you to go too close to the edge okay? Stay close to us," I tell her with a smile. Her eyes light up and she nods brightly before looking around for rocks, placing them in a pile before choosing only the prettiest ones she can find. She smiles as she starts tossing the rest into the river.

The future me. (I hope)

So, apparently I'm supposed to write about where I see myself in 10 years or so. I think. I'm kind of lost honestly. No sleep last night plus ADHD equals a very confused me. Oh well. Since I'm 99.9% sure that's what I'm supposed to write about, here goes. In ten years, I see myself with a child who is ten years old, asking, no, begging, for everything he or she sees. Yes, I'm about to be a teen parent. I'm due in early July. I realize that this is greatly decreasing my chances of getting out of here, of finding a good college to go to, or finding a good career. Somehow, I'm okay with this. I'm actually excited to be a mother soon. I'm due in early July. We're really hoping for July fourth. The baby's father was born on Halloween and we think it would be interesting to have a child on the fourth of July. At least I wouldn't be able to forget either of their birthdays. The father of my child is hoping for a boy, I, however, am hoping for a little girl that I will be able to spoil to no end. I want her name to be Mikaia Marie. Or possibly Victoria Carleigh. I haven't decided quite yet. You see, I get to name the girl because he gets to name the boy. Hence me wanting a girl first. Yes, first. But I digress. I see myself with, hopefully, a ten year old daughter running around with her friends, laughing and smiling happily everyday. I see myself in a modest house with at least three bedrooms and all the necessary things for healthy living. We don't need things like giant televisions in every room or the fanciest china. I just want us to be happy. We don't need to be rich or anything. I see myself reading to my child every night at bedtime, tucking them in and giving them a kiss goodnight. I can see myself checking under the bed and in the closet for monsters, giving the okay for them to climb into bed. I'll be the happy stay-at-home-mom who cooks and cleans each day, waiting for her husband to come home.

Hey again, I know I haven't written in a while so here's my first blog of the month. Well, to begin, this blog is in response to "Doughnut-Hole Country". In this, I'm supposed to categorize myself in one of four types of high school graduates. I've been instructed to picture myself where I'd like to end up settling down for the rest of my life. Personally, I'm 17, I feel that maybe it's a bit early for that, but I digress. The categories I have available to choose from follow as such. Achiever, someone who leaves the town or area. Stayer, someone who decides to stay either in the same town or area, or a similar setting. Seeker, someone who wants to travel or join the military. Last but not least comes the Returner. A returner is someone who leaves but decides to come back and settle down. I feel that I'm going to be a Stayer. I don't want to stay in this exact place, but I like the way it is. I'm happy in this small town, rural, back-woodsy section of Maine. Yes, I complain about the weather and how my town has close to nothing do, but I'm absolutely in love with the way the country-side looks when I'm out for a drive with family or friends. Winter, if it weren't so gosh darn cold, would be my favorite time of the year. Personally, I would love it if it could snow, but be 60-69 degrees without it melting. I love to snowboard, have snowball fights, and take my lovely little niece sledding. I may almost be an adult, but I'm a sucker for a good snowball war. If I could choose any place to live, Virginia or North Carolina would be among my top five choices. I've been to Virginia multiple times, mainly to Alexandria and the area that surrounds the town, and each time I fall more in love with the state. If I could choose anywhere to live, I'd most likely choose Virginia. I'd love to be able to walk around in shorts and a t-shirt during Winter. Maybe, just maybe, someday I'll be able to move away from Maine. Hopefully, someday soon.

Reasonably
Understated
Everyday.

Deadly
Invisibility
Striking
True.
Realizing
Instantly,
Crying
Timorously.

Even
Living
Everyday,
Vixen-like
Energy
No more.

Topics

I think that we should cover more topics like poetry. We should be able to improve upon our poetry talents further by both reading, and writing, about different topics. Also, we should cover music a bit more. There are so many hidden messages in any song you listen to. Doesn't matter what artist or the song. You'll find so many hidden ideas and feelings if analyze a song, word for word. Currently, I'm listening to music and writing this at the same time. I'm paying attention to the lyrics. On the surface, they're about love and honesty, but when you look into them, they are actually about pain and betrayal. It's amazing what you can figure out when you pay enough attention. I also want to cover some more Shakespeare and other plays of his time.