Monday, January 11, 2010

Hook



"I think that when it comes right down to it, the choices I've made in life weren't so bad after all," these words keep running through my mind as I drive along these roads, watching the scenery fly by the windows of the car. My daughter playing in the backseat, laughing as her father tickles her toes and makes funny faces at her over the back of his seat. I smile to myself as I watch her in the mirror for a few seconds, her eyes a perfect reflection of mine, her beautiful blond hair shining in the light. As I bring my eyes back to the road, I begin to pick familiar landscapes out of the overgrown surroundings. My eyes land on a spot that I used to go to with friends, the little trail nearly hidden in the underbrush. I turn to the man at my side and ask with a hopeful smile if we could take a walk down it one last time with our daughter as I pull off to the edge of the road. With a nod, he unbuckles our life and picks her up, tickling her for a moment before placing her on his shoulders with a grin, his hands gripping her ankles gently. I start leading them down the little path to the cliff he and I went to as our first date, holding the branches out of their way. My little Carleigh laughs and claps her hands over his head as the view comes into sight. Her eyes widening with each step as we move to the stone benches that sit about ten feet from the edge. "Carleigh, sweetie, I don't want you to go too close to the edge okay? Stay close to us," I tell her with a smile. Her eyes light up and she nods brightly before looking around for rocks, placing them in a pile before choosing only the prettiest ones she can find. She smiles as she starts tossing the rest into the river.

Thursday, January 7, 2010

The future me. (I hope)

So, apparently I'm supposed to write about where I see myself in 10 years or so. I think. I'm kind of lost honestly. No sleep last night plus ADHD equals a very confused me. Oh well. Since I'm 99.9% sure that's what I'm supposed to write about, here goes. In ten years, I see myself with a child who is ten years old, asking, no, begging, for everything he or she sees. Yes, I'm about to be a teen parent. I'm due in early July. I realize that this is greatly decreasing my chances of getting out of here, of finding a good college to go to, or finding a good career. Somehow, I'm okay with this. I'm actually excited to be a mother soon. I'm due in early July. We're really hoping for July fourth. The baby's father was born on Halloween and we think it would be interesting to have a child on the fourth of July. At least I wouldn't be able to forget either of their birthdays. The father of my child is hoping for a boy, I, however, am hoping for a little girl that I will be able to spoil to no end. I want her name to be Mikaia Marie. Or possibly Victoria Carleigh. I haven't decided quite yet. You see, I get to name the girl because he gets to name the boy. Hence me wanting a girl first. Yes, first. But I digress. I see myself with, hopefully, a ten year old daughter running around with her friends, laughing and smiling happily everyday. I see myself in a modest house with at least three bedrooms and all the necessary things for healthy living. We don't need things like giant televisions in every room or the fanciest china. I just want us to be happy. We don't need to be rich or anything. I see myself reading to my child every night at bedtime, tucking them in and giving them a kiss goodnight. I can see myself checking under the bed and in the closet for monsters, giving the okay for them to climb into bed. I'll be the happy stay-at-home-mom who cooks and cleans each day, waiting for her husband to come home.